Present Tense

The Tao of “I Don’t Know”

I see a therapist.  I like her quite a lot, even though we’ve only been meeting since September, when I decided that my ‘issues’ had become unmanageable, without a pro involved.  And she is a pro; like any decent therapist, she asks a LOT of questions, which I really like, because like all bloggers/radio hosts/substance abusers, we love to talk about ourselves and will pay pretty good money to do that.  She’ll ask things like, “why do you think that is”, or “why did you react that way” or “what was his/their/your reaction” and like everyone, who seeks approval, I do my best to squeeze out an answer to all of her questions, plus, I have a problem withholding information, which is why I blog and am on the radio.  But, sometimes, she’ll ask me something and after rolling it around and squinting my eyes a little and kicking my shoes off, I just have to blurt out “I don’t know”.

Three very scary words for a control freak/know-it-all, like me.  Ouch!  What?  I…. don’t….. knoooooooow. Did that come out of MY mouth?  Heresy!  But, that’s what I’m working on.  It’s why I’m there, chatting with a therapist; to become comfortable with not knowing/controlling/analyzing EVERYTHING.  Ever feel that way?  That if you admit that you just don’t know something, you’re powerless or useless or even worse, not too bright?  It’s beginning to dawn on me, that letting loose with an “I don’t know”, is actually kind of comforting.  Sometimes, I want to shout it and alot of times, just saying it, actually makes me smile, even chuckle or maybe even giggle!   I DON’T HAVE ANY FREAKIN’ IDEA is admitting that maybe someone else does and you would be wise to shut your piehole and listen for a change because you might learn something about yourself, or even better, someone else.

So, there you go.  We’ve had a mini therapy session, right here, right now.  How do you feel?  That will be $100.

December 28, 2009 - Posted by | Musings | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. I am going to start saying I don’t know more often. That way I won’t have to explain myself anymore.

    “Why is that hat on the steps?”

    “I don’t know.”

    Wow. I feel better already.

    Comment by Kandis | January 3, 2010 | Reply


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