Present Tense

On starting a new phase of my life…

tat 1A few months ago, I had an overwhelming desire to get another tattoo. It came out of the blue and I’m on the record as saying I didn’t think anyone should get tattooed after age 40 and I’m well past 40.

But, suddenly it was something I had to do. So, I did. I designed a beautiful, pastel lotus blossom. I wanted a pretty, gentle tattoo.

A lotus blossom represents an awakening. The flower starts in the mud and grows up through the water to the surface, where it blooms and sits quietly on top of the water. An open, calm, welcoming symbol of acceptance.

I love this tattoo and I anoint it with shea butter every morning. I’m grateful that it speaks to me every time I see it: awaken. Let go. Be you. And that is exactly where I am.

Like the lotus, I’m opening after being tightly closed for a long time; probably a decade now and though I regret some of my behavior, it served a purpose because it brought to me this moment, where I am able to walk away from my career and into the next phase of my life.

I’ve battled alcoholism for many years and one of my strategies (that didn’t really work all that well) was to knuckle down; to be rigidly in control of my behavior. In order to function and fulfill my obligations, I said no to so many things. My job as a morning radio host was my top priority and in order to get up at 3:30 a.m. and function, I determined that I had to stick to a very rigid routine.

Strict bedtime, strict nap time, strict diet, strict exercise. Everything had to be controlled or I would go off the rails and ruin my career. People were counting on me at work, so I had to be fully in control of myself.

This spilled over into strict control of our finances. Save, save, save, save. Invest, invest, invest. I was obsessed with our money. I would sit and watch CNBC for hours, with my laptop open watching our stocks fluctuate throughout the day. Healthy, right?

I was white knuckling my whole life because I thought it would keep me sober and productive and successful. But, I ended up self-medicating with booze again. Thank God my family stepped in and I was able to see that I needed a new path and a new sobriety strategy.

That’s when I began this blog and my spiritual exploration. I’ve laid it all out over past 4-5 years with complete and sometimes uncomfortable honesty. I was the lotus bud, gestating in the mud and these years have been my journey to the surface of the water, where I now sit, open to the rest of my life.

I’ve stopped saying ‘no’ and am now embracing ‘yes’. My spiritual path has taken a mystical turn and I’m developing and exploring my intuition and spirit guides. I’m more accepting of myself and am flexible, rather that rigid.

So, I’m retiring. It’s time. There is no sadness, no regret, no fear. I’m saying goodbye to a great career that has been incredibly fulfilling and has most certainly allowed me the financial freedom to walk away at 55 and begin anew.

I have no plans, other than to just “be” for awhile. I honestly feel like I can do whatever will feed my soul and my spirit. The old me would have been completely gripped by fear at the thought of walking away from the security of a job and a paycheck.  In fact, I think I just stumbled onto my next tat: Fearless.

Be well. Be brave. Do what your spirit is telling you to do. Don’t hate your life; change it.

November 10, 2014 - Posted by | Musings | , , , , , , , , , , ,

64 Comments »

  1. Goodbye and good luck. You will be missed by many, but instead of mourning this as a loss, I will try to be appreciative that the good happened, even for a time. I wish you and Prince Charming the absolute best, and I wish you the best in your recovery. My morning drive will be missing something, but I a very happy that you have found a way to go to the next healthy place in your lfe.

    Comment by Turth | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  2. Good luck, and good call. I hope just being for a while brings you excellent fulfillment.

    Comment by Jim Grey | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  3. Being is good. We all need more time in our lives to just be. Hanging out with you these past few years has been a most interesting journey. I’m looking forward to seeing where you go from here!!! Here’s to new beginnings and just being. ❤

    Comment by kandisnz | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  4. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I will miss hearing you on the radio every morning, but you made the right move. Here’s to the next chapter in your life, Jane. I hope and pray that you will continue writing your blog. I have loved every moment of it. Good luck and Godspeed.

    Comment by Michelle B. | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  5. I had a feeling when you hinted a big change on facebook over the weekend that this was the case. I wish you good luck as you enter this next phase in your life.

    As I’ve enjoyed you on the radio, I’ve also enjoyed your posts to your blog. I hope that you will continue to post on your blog even though.

    Comment by W. H. | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  6. Twenty one years ago, I sold a business and home in Florida to be with a man I had not known very long . . . . last week we celebrated our 20th anniversary and have two of the nicest teenagers anyone could know. When I first got to Denver, we were walking along and saw sidewalk chalk art. In beautiful script, with lotus flowers around it, were the words “Be Fearless, Choose Love”. I wish you peace and joy in this next phase of your life.

    Comment by Susan Herr | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  7. Congratulations on your decision! I won’t say I’m surprised, but I will say that you will be missed. Figuring out the right time to do anything is tough, but I’m sure that this decision was so easy for you right now. Your family is your first priority, and being able to spend the last years with your mom will be something that you will cherish forever. 55 is a good time for a fresh start, your awakening. Although we’ve never met, I feel like you’re an important part of my life, and you have made me think about things that I probably wouldn’t have thought about without your insight. Thank you for that. Keep moving forward, I know I will! Thanks for the last 15 years, you’ve brought a lot of smiles into my life. Good Luck!

    Comment by Jane Johnson | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  8. good luck!! have fun!!

    Comment by Katie Cardenas | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  9. Thank you once again, Jane, for a very timely blog post. It seems as though lately I’ve experienced similar things at about the same time as you. I, too, am 55 years old and I’m considering walking away from a job I’ve held for 30 years. I, too, lost my furry soul mate last year (in November). Every time there’s some sort of upheaval in my life, you magically post something that rings so true for me.
    I’ve listened to the Dom and Jane show since the very beginning and have loved every minute of it. Although I will miss hearing you on the show, I completely understand your decision and wish you all the best. Good luck in all you strive for.

    Comment by Sue Haner | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  10. Best of luck in this next phase of life. Live is to be enjoyed, not endured!

    Comment by pam | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  11. I have always appreciated your honesty and willingness to share, Jane. You have talked about things that many have thought were taboo. Your honesty about alcoholism is appreciated by me as I deal with a family member who is gripped by it and unwilling/unable to change. Thank you so much. I wish you much happiness!

    Comment by Kathy Graybill | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  12. Jane, you will be missed. Sure, it’s not the death of the show, but it won’t be quite the same without you. While we will surely grieve our loss, I hope every one of us is also wishing you the best in your next endeavor, even if that is “just” focusing on enjoying every day. 🙂 Thank you for all the good times I’ve had listening to the show. I eagerly look forward to more of your blog.

    Comment by Mark | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  13. Dearest Jane. Thank you for your years of fun and entertainment you and Dom provided for the Denver market. Your frankness, transparency and down to earth, real girl attitude have endeared you to so many. I too, have put myself on a new journey and am open to new possibilities. God speed and thank you.

    Comment by Shannon | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  14. Jane, I will miss hearing your voice in the mornings. I’ve been listening to the Dom and Jane show for all of the 15 years you’ve been on. I hope that you will continue to blog so that I can still hear your voice on occasion. Best of luck to you and your family in your new adventures.

    Comment by Patricia | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  15. I had just moved to Denver, starting a new phase in my life, when I stumbled upon Mix 100. Dom & Chuck had you on the phone and you were updating them on your move to Denver and it was very funny. It was then I knew I had my radio station that I’d listen to every day on my way to work. You helped me laugh through uncertainty but during times like Columbine and 9/11, you were just “there” and that was comforting. I relate to you a lot, Jane, and I’ll miss hearing your voice but it sounds like you’re in a wonderful place right now in your heart and mind and I’m happy for you. Wishing you and your family (including the furry ones) all the best!

    Comment by Donna Repp | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  16. Jane,
    You will definitely be missed in the morning. There have been days that you were the only sunshine in my day and I’d have a good laugh and realize that I could get through whatever was happening in my life. Good luck in whatever you do!

    Comment by Tania Watson | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  17. Love and light to you Jane! It’s been an honor to have you in my life, and I hope you continue with your blog. There have been so many times I have connected with what you write. All the best to you and PC and those wonderful puppies.

    Comment by Pam O'Malley | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  18. You are blessed to realize that there is more to life than work and saving for the future. I am a nurse and I have seen a lot of people regretting not stopping and loving their life. I wish you much happiness and love. I am happy for you and your family that you will be with them living life as it should be in contentment.

    Comment by Barb Heatherly | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  19. Jane, you will be missed – that is true. I’m so glad you’re able to retire and enjoy your life to the fullest. Be well and enjoy your time with your family. I’ll stay tuned for your blogs. Thanks for listening to me and helping me through Stella’s surgery and recovery. She is doing great and continues to be a joy. All the best.

    Comment by Carolyn Stillman | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  20. Best wishes to you, Jane! You make me think it might be that time for me as well (to become fearless and do that retirement thing). Almost 64 and scared to do it! Love your tattoo too! You go, girl!

    Comment by Mary Ann | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  21. What a selfie!!! Good One!

    Comment by Big Sis | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  22. The Dom and Jane Show – without Jane.. . . . .there will be a void and you will be missed. I do however, admire the courage of your vision toward your future. Best of luck in all your future endeavors.

    Comment by June Ramos | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  23. How exciting!

    Comment by Brooks Kelley | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  24. I have enjoyed listening to you and Dom for years. I am so excited for your next venture. Your honesty and determination will continue to carry you throughout your life. I intend on following your blog as you evolve into the next stage of Jane. Good luck and God Bless!!!

    Comment by Janie | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  25. Best wishes Jane! You will be missed so much.

    Comment by Shelley | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  26. I haven’t had the chance to listen to your show in some time due to a schedule change but as I read this I realize that it is exactly where I am right now to. Your words have given me a new boost to continue the new path I started (retired last year at 50) and my most recent pull to the spiritual path I am on. Thank you for so many years of getting me to work sane! Best of luck in your future!

    Comment by Sherri Flesner | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  27. Every day my husband Mike comes home and tells me about a topic you and Dom discussed on the show. My husband would ask my opinion. I would, of course, tell him. And he would say, “that’s exactly what Jane said”. So in a weird way, I feel like maybe we were secretly cloned at some time. I’ve made choices some have questioned. But I have always followed my gut when it came to big life decisions. It takes a special kind of courage to walk away from the significant and tread into the unknown. Have a wonderful voyage. We will miss you.

    Comment by Janet Nickoles | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  28. Jane, I’m going to be honest here. There have been times when I’ve listened to you and found you completely annoying. However, I admire your strength and determination. I applaud you for the steps you have taken in your life to bring you to the understanding that you have accomplished in your life. I wish you the very best with your Mom, siblings and Prince Charming. Check in from time to time. I’ll be checking your blog. Let us know how you are doing. God in peace with the love of many.

    Comment by Rhonda "Roo" | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  29. My last comment should have said “Go in peace…”

    Comment by Rhonda "Roo" | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  30. Good bye and good luck to you. I have enjoyed listening to you over the years. Thank you for this blog. I love your new TAT and thank you for the words of wisdom. Take care live laugh love…..

    Comment by Tonya Godby | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  31. Congratulations Jane! I’ve listened to you for very many years and think this decision will suite you well. You’ll need to check in from time to time so that we all know you are doing well. As for that new tat. Well, it’s really beautiful, so flaunt that baby!

    Comment by Triss Schneider | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  32. I will miss you dearly Jane, you and Dom have made me laugh and even sometimes cry through the years. I’m 35 and have listened to you and Dom all 3600 or so shows, well I’ve missed a few here and there but none the less. You continue on with life’s journey and don’t ever quit being you, because only you can be who and do what you want. Let your guides guide you down the right path as mine have, they are wise and powerful, and sometimes mischievous, but through it all they will always be there to help you along your way. We here in Colorado will miss you greatly take care Jane and awe heck, we love you!! Cluck cluck!!

    Comment by javier | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  33. Oh Jane, GOOD FOR YOU! Congratulations on retiring! I (amongst many, MANY others no doubt) will miss hearing you on the radio in the morning. But I think you will enjoy retirement. I have a couple of family members who retired recently and they have adapted quite easily 😉
    Looking forward to reading your blogs & hope that you won’t be a stranger & maybe call in from time to time…

    Comment by Elizabeth | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  34. Jane, so very cool for you! Thank you for helping to keep my kids in line on those morning drives to school. My kids are grown and out of the house now, but listening to you and Dom in the morning as we drove across town to school were special moments. No matter the curve ball life may have thrown us on any given day, you kept us laughing and guessing (Mind Bender). As a single parent, my morning drive was like the dinner table of my youth. It was a time to share and laugh and solve life’s problems at 35 miles an hour. No matter the day, you left of smiling as the kids entered school and I went to work. I miss that morning drive with you and the kids. Thank you so much for your talent, your time and your passion. Enjoy the next chapter in life, my friend. You are blessed.

    Comment by Ted Lytle | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  35. Thank you for sharing and opening up. It takes a brave soul to be this open in public. You are an inspiration.

    I wish you the best in the next stage of your journey. I look forward to haring more about your journey on this blog.

    Comment by Cheryl L. | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  36. When I first discovered The Dom & Jane show afew years ago, I was inspired by your openness and honesty. Your infectious laugh kept me going and awake as I drove home from my graveyard shift. Even if i will miss your part in making the show the best there is, I applaud you for the bold move and wish you a happier life full of joy and freedom to be just you. God bless you Jane.

    Comment by Elizabeth | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  37. Thank you Jane for being part of my morning routine. Even after I moved to Florida, (my retirement) I would wake up, turn on the computer, and listen to the Dom and Jane show. It is my normal being away from Colorado. I am still finding my way in retirement, a year and half now, and I wish you all the best in your life in Michigan. I liked your idea of a condo in the mountains to come back to Colorado to ski. Good idea.

    Comment by Kay K | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  38. Jane, your words are very inspiring. Thank you

    Comment by Kimberly | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  39. HI Jane! This year, I got a beautiful lotus in the middle of my back. I am 47! I figured that most women my age were getting plastic surgery and I was going to get some tattoos! I absolutely love my tattoo and plan on getting more! My children and I ALWAYS listen to the Dom and Jane show every morning! We love it! You will be missed! We wish you the best and hopefully you can make some guest appearances! Be well and enjoy embracing life!

    Comment by Kristin | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  40. Wishing you peace, happiness and many blessings.

    Comment by Roxanne Piro | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  41. You were and are the woman…God Bless

    Comment by Renee | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  42. Jane,

    Thank you for being part of my morning the past four years since I moved to Denver. I wish you well and look forward to reading your blog.

    Andrew W.

    Comment by Andrew Winkeljohn | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  43. That’s the same reason I got my lotus I went through a time where I felt like I wasn’t good enough I had been going through an abusice relationship and a bad breakup and a lot was going on and I was self harming I put my lotus over my scars my scars are the mud and something beautiful came out of something so ugly I got it for my 17th birthday it was my first tattoo

    Comment by Raven wood | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  44. Jane, congrats to you for making the move and your constant ability to identify with all of us. I read every post and see how very much you have touched peoples lives. I so hope you continue to blog when you feel like it. Let me know how retirement is, Billy has been rubbing it in for about five years now. I hope we can get together sometime soon, Take care of the Prince and the dear doggies, Tim.

    Comment by Tim Lankerd, Ann Arbor, Mi. | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  45. Thank you Jane for entertaining me for so many years. You and Dom have given us many smiles on the morning drives to school and work. You will be missed. Wishing you much joy as you start this new phase and looking forward to reading more of your blogs.

    Comment by Lyn | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  46. Hi Jane! I am so happy for you. This is great that you can do this with no sadness, no regret and no fear. We are close in age and it gives me some courage and hope that I someday can make the same choice. Even through we have never met I consider you a friend, I have cried with you, been mad with you and laughed with you. To be honest and a little selfish, I am going to miss our time together (my hour drive). And you are right, you said on the show today that Dom, Jeremy and Emily can handle it and that is true but I think most of us are thinking… we are just plain going to miss you. So with that I wish you all the luck in the world my friend and look forward to reading your blogs. God bless you Jane and good luck with the next door in your life!

    Comment by Andena Frank | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  47. I am so happy for you, you have brought me many mornings of laughs and I enjoyed hearing your insights. I hope you enjoy stepping back and getting to just “be” instead of getting up at the butt crack of dawn. I love your blog, and hope to keep reading more. Wishing you love, and peace.

    Comment by Stacy | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  48. Thank you Jane for the many many years of entertaining mornings filled with laughter, thought provoking topics, sharing yourself and your honest opinions with all of us listeners. So glad your at peace with where you are in your life. Wishing you continued success in whatever endeavors you undertake in the future. You will be missed!

    Comment by Tonya Meyer | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  49. Jane, it’s been a joy listening to the Dom and Jane show during my morning commute for many years. I’m sad for Denver but so happy for you. I’m glad you are back to your roots in Michigan and have the resources to retire early. I, too, have been exploring my spiritual side for the last 10 years and know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Best of luck to you! You will definitely be missed!

    Comment by Patty Woosley from Evergreen | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  50. Jane, I worked with you many years. I always learned from you. Now, more than ever you are inspiring me. Best of luck with your next journey. Thank you for sharing an authentic story for all to relate, learn and grow. Please keep writing and inspiring. Sending love and light.

    Comment by Rene | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  51. Ah, what an inspiring post Jane. I have always treasured your open and honest ways and am excited to hear you’re leaping with enthusiasm into this next chapter. Cheers to you all the smiles and laughter you brought to each of us every morning; thank you.
    We will miss you Jane – enjoy the ride!

    Comment by Kat Miller | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  52. Jane good luck to you in your journey. I wish you a wealth of health, happiness and love. I will miss you here on the radio. You have been a very big part of my morning drive for years. Thank you for sharing you. I’m glad I can stay “in touch” through your blog.

    Comment by Danielle | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  53. I have to say I’m jealous. My years of spinning wheels (well, and taking care of aging and ill parents-which I don’t regret) was used spending money instead of saving (an equally destructive addiction). So I am 64 and 10/12ths and cannot walk away from a state government job that is increasingly a lesson in deceit (sshh) and frustration. I will break free to follow the treasure map I will create and pursue. Keep inspiring me and I will dissolve that jealousy as I move along. Maybe I will write and inspire others with my journey!

    Comment by Susan Franzen | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  54. I have been a fan since KIMN had a chicken and it was Dom and Jo. I was skeptical when they brought this Jane London from somewhere out of state. You won my heart and I feel like you are one of my BFF s. You will be missed in more ways than you will ever know. I will miss your advice, opinions, sense of humor and The Jane Report! Best wishes for you new adventure. I hope you find everything you are looking for. Thanks for your hard work and dedication all these years!! Love you💙

    Comment by Nickie | November 10, 2014 | Reply

  55. Jane, I wish you the best! Have enjoyed you so much over the years. Cherish everyday and wonderful things will happen.

    I retired at 52 and don’t regret my decision. Busy now with things I want to do, not have to do. I too have gone on a spiritual journey and am so happy I have.

    I wish you the best on your new chapter. Looking forward to your future blogs.

    Cindy

    Comment by Cindy | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  56. Ah My mornings will not be the same. Good luck in your next chapter and I do hope you don’t stop blogging so those of us who follow you can check in with you.

    Comment by Christine Ridgeway | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  57. I grew up in Michigan, lived next door to Rockin’ Ron in Colorado, and have listened to the morning show for at least 14 years. I have always related to you Jane. (I even did the survey about hormones!) I recently celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary, and at age 47, am planning on getting my first tattoo this weekend (with my daughter who is turning 18).

    What has me in tears today is your honesty about alcoholism. This is the first blog from you I have read. (I was drawn in by the tattoo…) It is something my husband has struggled with, and the ripple effects of that are enormous and seemingly unending.

    I also have tears because I need to change my life. I need to shed the Catholic guilt and take care of me.

    Thank you for your words. I feel like I’m wishing a friend “Bon Voyage!”

    Comment by Molly | November 11, 2014 | Reply

    • Molly:
      Thank you so much for the note. I know how much damage alcoholism can do to a relationship. I’ve written about it numerous times on this blog. Maybe something that I’ve written will help, but my biggest regret is the damage that my drinking has done to my marriage. There are wounds that will never heal and my sweet husband has suffered a great deal. But, as you know, nobody can fix us; those of us with addictions have to fix ourselves.
      There are so many strategies available to you, but as you have realized, it’s up to you to take your first step. I wish you strength, first and then some peace.
      Be well…best of luck
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | November 11, 2014 | Reply

    • Molly – I also have a husband who is an alcoholic. His doctor has been very blunt with him about changing his life because his liver is struggling big time; however, he cannot seem to do that. It has made a wreck out of me because, as Jane has said, he needs to be the one to fix himself. I can’t do it. I find myself preparing for the worst and I don’t like it. You are not alone, but I know that doesn’t help the situation much. Do what you said and take care of yourself. Hugs…………Kathy

      Comment by Kathy Graybill | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  58. I knew this was coming when you decided to move back home. There have also been several hints of it on your blog. What a sense of relief to you that the decision has been finalized! I wish you the best in all that you choose to do.
    Namaste

    Comment by Renee | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  59. Good luck on your next adventure! You were the first voice I heard on Colorado radio 10 years ago and I’ve been listening to you every morning on my way to work at Children’s Hospital Colorado. I appreciate you and will miss your snarky lovely self.

    Comment by Michelle Nimmo | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  60. Good luck Jane with your life.
    There is so many things that I would like to achieve but I am not as brave as you are.
    I will miss your voice on the only show I use to listen since I came in US 12 years ago.
    Thank you for every day for past 12 years.

    Comment by Alma | November 11, 2014 | Reply

  61. I have been one of the “silent void” listeners for several years now & am grateful for all you’ve shared…both serious & flat out fun. I loved reading that you interviewed for a radio show with laryngitis…hilarious! Only you, Jane, could ever nail the interview in these circumstances! Like you, I’m retiring in 4 weeks at age 61 after tightly controlling every facet of my life for several years. Unlike you, I am not an alcoholic but a child of an alcoholic father who spent the last 8 years of his life as a homeless person on the streets of Denver. And so, our tight controlling nature for our lives isn’t so different after all, is it? Since we are both now financially independent, we do get to enjoy the release. Jane, enjoy “being”, as I will also. It may be challenging for us both to loosen our reins however I have full confidence that we will. Free will is tugging at my heart as I type & the wait is getting challenging. Let’s go forth & break every rule we can… Blessings to you & Prince Charming in your journey. All good lotus evolutions & discoveries, Jillian

    Comment by Jillian | November 19, 2014 | Reply

  62. I’ve always felt a connection with you Jane, and I am sad that you will be missing from my mornings, but I am so happy and excited for you! I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE WITH THIS BLOG. I have been a listener for many, many years (even back to Dom and Jo!), but somehow just discovered this blog???!!! It resonates with me on so many levels, that I want to continue to read it in the future. Best of luck, health, and happiness to you and yours.

    Comment by pat | November 21, 2014 | Reply


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