Present Tense

So long to what’s not workin’…

bye-bye-male-smiley-smiley-emoticon-000155-large

Friday is the Spring Equinox.  A time for saying goodbye to things that are weighing you down; for leaving behind the things that aren’t working in your life.  Make a list of those items and burn them, preferably Friday.  And then move on.  I sat down and wrote this in my journal this morning, so it’s kind of stream of consciousness:

Today is the day that I am letting go of my burdens. I’ve been carrying around my sadness and loss like a huge backpack of rocks for a long time. It has weighed me down; I gained about 20 pounds and let my body go to hell carrying this junk with me. No more. I’m moving toward freedom, light, joy, renewal and all of the good stuff. Enough is enough.

I’m an optimist. I know that things work out for the best. Yes, there is a lot of pain in the world; so much suffering and some of it by people that I love, but I cannot absorb that and allow it to ruin me. I have to rise above it, see the good and the beautiful. I need more music and movement and nature and sunshine and beaches and water and walks. I want to learn to play the guitar.

I’m going to slowly let go and shut down my Jane London Facebook page. That is no longer me; I no longer need that affirmation and adoration. I will write my blog and hope that it resonates, but I won’t be obsessed with views and comments and pats on the back. It’s a beautiful thing to connect and help others. I love that people compliment my writing and I hope that I get better and keep writing, but I have to focus on what’s in front of me.

I’ve spent more time on the feelings and lives of people I barely know than on my own household. My husband is neglected and needs me. My mom needs me and I need to re-connect with my siblings in a way that isn’t about just grief and caring for my mom.

So, this is the way forward. Leave the old ways that were not working and were conspiring against my growth and happiness and freedom. In the end, I will die. Will all of the things I worried and obsessed about really matter? Some will, but most will not. I guess it could be argued that none will matter.

I will die and turn into pure energy and love. Why not try and do that while I’m here? We all have that potential, but modern life conspires to keep us burdened and scared and confined. Not me. I’ve done all of that. Freedom. Letting go. Let’s do this.

March 18, 2015 - Posted by | Musings | , , , , , ,

22 Comments »

  1. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy this post makes me. Onward.

    Comment by talktraffic28 | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • HAHA!
      You make ME happy:) Safe travels and be well!
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  2. Yes

    Comment by Anita | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  3. Love this post. I understand wanting/needing to shut down the Facebook page. That is a persona that you have or want to put to rest. I know you tried to let your true self come through each day on the radio, but you’ve left that world behind. Time to let that piece go as well. I wish you freedom, happiness, and love as you venture into the new realms of the life that now makes up Jane.

    Comment by Rhonda "Roo" | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Rhonda
      My radio persona was always based on the real me, but it was a cardboard cut-out, lacking all of the dimensions. I’m more fully formed as a writer and a regular ‘civilian’ human. That’s why the old radio persona FB has to go. Thanks so much!
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  4. When you retire the fb page and the persona, you will have completed your retirement. “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world is the birth of the butterfly.”

    Comment by Susan Herr | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Susan
      I think that’s true:) Full circle. A great career…now, time for a great life.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  5. As usual, I feel like you were talking directly to me in your blog. Thank you for saying all the things that I know in my heart, but have not put into practice in my life, Jane. We all need to reassess periodically and perhaps change the direction of our lives. I have done that in the past and probably need to do it a bit again. You are my inspiration!

    Comment by Kathy Graybill | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Kathy
      I wish you the best! We all need a cleansing and a catalyst and all too often, life forces our hand, even if we’re not ready.
      Be well
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  6. Add me to email list please!

    Comment by Cathy Kolar | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Cathy
      You will have to do that yourself. There is a “subscribe to blog” on this page. Please fill it out and follow the directions.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  7. Leaving baggage behind. I too have neglected my husband for work, lost my laughter, gained weight..essentially lost me. Dumping it all and moving on to happier times with my close family and the man I chose to spend my life with. He deserves it! I just needed you to tell me it was okay! Keep writing and paving the way!

    Comment by Cindy Mitchell | March 18, 2015 | Reply

    • Cindy
      We allow ‘work’ to encroach all to often into our real lives and I convinced that it’s ruining our mental and physical health. We need a big, fat RE-SET button. I started hitting mine a few years ago and now it’s time to finish the job.
      Be well.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  8. Beautiful. Been going through something similar the past 2 years. Death of a parent, estrangement from the other parent, being lied to over and over by a loved one. But in July 2014 I started my Butterfly Life because I truly felt like I was blossoming out of a dark cocoon. I let go of some large burdens, I made positive goals, I lost 25 pounds, and I have made a conscious choice to detach from those things I have no control over. Sending much positivity to you!!

    Comment by Jodi | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  9. Brilliant, timely & insightful written. Thank you

    Comment by Eva | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  10. Continued happiness, health and love of yourself and those around you. I will continue to follow you here. Look forward to more truth and inspiration. Thank you.

    Comment by Carolyn Stillman | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  11. Best thing I’ve read in a long time! What a freeing thing to do! 🙂

    Comment by Kendra Nightingale Kaiser | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  12. I kind of thought you were writing too much on facebook. I’m glad you are moving on from being Jane London. Enjoy your mom while she is still with you, enjoy your siblings. Enjoy your retirement, FINALLY! I will look forward to future blogs when they come.

    Comment by Tracy Rappoport | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  13. To tell you the truth I don’t visit your website. I just don’t have time, but I always take the time to read your blogs

    Comment by Susan Perow | March 18, 2015 | Reply

  14. Jane….I see you are beginning to accept the divine. Thank GOD!

    Comment by edspolitics | March 29, 2015 | Reply

  15. As you know,Jane, I am so blessed to live i n the same residence your Mom does. Loads of fun people, most laughing at our inability to remember names or what happened yesterday but giggle while we all work on the problems.
    I had a big decision to make , amputating my leg above the knee or not being around to see, talk and love and be loved by my WONDERFUL family. Bye bye leg. On with
    a MAUVELOUS life!,, Actually, the thing that has and continues to be the positive is
    the attention in calls, visits and E-mails from my 5 children and wonderful nieces and nephews from Illinois and Iowa. FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY!!!
    I so miss my husband also. We lived and loved for 65 years. I thought we might make it to 70. LOVE,LOVE That does it!

    Comment by Shirley Barclay | March 30, 2015 | Reply

    • Shirley
      You are truly an inspiration! I will pop in to see you next time I’m there. I wish my mom had the same zest for her situation that you do, but people are different, I suppose:) Be well…thanks for the note!
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | March 31, 2015 | Reply


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