Talking to myself
I was reading something about my natal astrological chart and the placement of a particular planet or asteroid. Thanks to this placement, it said I was very good at giving advice…to other people. The article suggested that I sit down and give myself the same advice that I would to a give a friend in my situation. That’s not so easy, eh?
But, here goes:
Jane:
First off, you need to lighten up. You just don’t laugh like you used to. In fact, you walk around with creases in your face, looking as if you’re deep in worry or concern or even agony. Not a good look for you.
You can’t solve all of the world’s problems. I know you feel called to speak up and call out what you perceive as ignorance, injustice, foggy thinking, hypocrisy, blah, blah, blah, but sometimes people enjoy the confusion. Or maybe the people that you think are confused, are actually wiser than you.
We all look around us and see ‘other people’ screwing up. It’s their fault that there isn’t more love and peace in the world. If only ‘other people’ would seek enlightenment; if only they would awaken. Well, some will and some won’t.
Jane, you can only fulfill your own destiny. You can only walk your own path and your overwhelming need to control your own path bleeds out into needing to control everyone’s. That, my dear, is not enlightenment. That is suffering and confusion and pure futility.
You’re also way too hard on yourself. The striving for perfection in your diet, your intellect, your pet guardianship, your finances, your….well, your life, is paralyzing you. You are on a constant and exhausting search for the holy grail that will transform you into this being of glowing health and light. This striving is what is actually KEEPING you from attaining this. STOP striving! Stop grasping and controlling and gnashing your teeth.
Jane, the dogs and cats will be fine. Allow them to just ‘be’ without the constant worry over their diets, well-being and activities. The same goes for your darling husband. Let him be who he is. Don’t micro manage his diet, his clothing, his TV/media consumption. Let that shit go.
You have to trust more. Life will flow as it flows, just like the water that embodies your astrological sign of Scorpio. You have a lot of water in your chart, along with a fair amount of fire, but you need to give the water freer rein to tamp down that fire that compels you to be constantly ‘workin’ it’. Flow, Jane. It’s all any of us can do.
The bottom line is that you know all of these things. You’ve studied and read and ruminated and immersed yourself in the metaphysical and the spiritual. You meditate, do energy work, call upon your guides, spend time in nature and attempt to give it all up to The Divine/Source/Spirit/The Universe and yet, you still suffer.
So, finally, here is my advice to you/me: Listen. To you, to me, to Source, to nature, to your gut. All of the guidance, help and comfort that you seek is in you. It’s already here for you. Listen and don’t question EVERYTHING. Listen. Allow. Then, be.