Navigating the heavy fog

We are all in a fog; the fog of fear, of war, of crisis, of insecurity…it’s VERY thick.

What is the best thing to do in the fog?

I used to drive down I-70 at o’dark-thirty every morning to work in Denver as a morning radio host. There were days when the fog (or a whiteout) was so thick that I couldn’t see 5 feet in front of my car. It was, to put it mildly, terrifying.

So, I often had to come to a complete stop, on I-70…not even sure what LANE I was in, praying that a semi didn’t scream right up my ass.

But, in those moments of complete fear and discombobulation, I HAD TO STOP. I had to gather myself, try to ease over to the right lane and maybe the shoulder. I had to take a moment or 10 to get my bearings as to where I was, spatially, emotionally, physically.  All of it.

Running or driving hysterically and blindly through the fog is not productive. And in fact, it’s dangerous.

That’s where we are right now. Nothing is certain; we have no idea when and if schools will open, when sports will be played, when the economy will creep back, how secure our jobs or benefits are, when the virus will wane, who will win the election, etc. The list of uncertainties is VERY long, right now.

So, stop flailing. Let go of expectations and narratives and outcomes. We are in a fog, my loves. It requires stopping, slowing and assessing how to move or NOT to move.

Don’t get bogged down in your concrete beliefs and narratives. Open up to different perspectives and information, as oftentimes I find that it can calm my fears to look at a problem or situation from another angle.

The feeling of not knowing who or what to trust, is not only understandable, it’s possibly a key to our survival. The honest truth is that EVERYONE is in this fog, as it’s part of the collective energies right now.

Those who proclaim themselves as experts or authorities are just as confused as we are:). Always keep that in mind. Believing anyone unequivocally is a recipe for at best, disappointment, at worst, tyranny.

It’s okay…no, IMPERATIVE that we ask ourselves, “Why exactly do I believe this and not that?? Maybe both things are true.”

Stop, squat and look at all sides. Question everything….

 

Both Things Can Be True…

Everyone is fighting.  So much frustration, conflict, self righteousness.

My husband is reading “The Art of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama, and since I’ve dabbled a bit in Buddhism, he asked me yesterday, how can we just float along, with rainbows and unicorns? Being ever kind and tolerant and understanding. Doesn’t that make us zombies?

His point is valid. NOTHING is solved or altered or mitigated without recognizing discomfort, injustice, danger, etc. Innovation and creativity are nearly always preceded by destruction or disruption. If we ignore those things, how do we grow?

That is where “the Middle Way” comes into play. A key principle of Buddhism and a very difficult path to walk.

It’s a variation of my current mantra “Both things can be true”. The recognition that everything is not a binary choice; we don’t have to pick between A and B. There is always a middle ground, a middle way. Something that takes A and B into account and melds them as both being valid or both being invalid, I suppose.

So much right now, tries to force us into these binary choices.

For or against science. For or against one party or the other. For or against masks.

There IS a middle way. We can recognize that science is fluid and contextual. We can recognize that masks are definitely useful in many cases, but not all. We can recognize that parties have differing philosophies and look for areas where we might have a glimmer of agreement.

The Middle Way recognizes that life is both upsetting and glorious. “10,000 joys, 10,000 sorrows”. We have to always look to both sides of the path for truths and have the intellectual and emotional maturity to not ALWAYS choose sides.

Our entire society and in particular much of media and social media is designed to force us to choose one side or the other. It’s ALL about binary choices and that’s why we are feeling so epically divided and confused.

We run most everything through our political filters now. Meaning that we give up OUR authority to make decisions and value judgements. We turn it over to politicians, pundits, media outlets, websites, ‘opinion makers’, etc. And we are in denial of these influences.  We KNOW we are right and we can post the link to an article to PROVE IT.

So, yes, as mature grown-ass adults, we have to listen to our internal guides, compass, ethics, values. We have to consciously be empathetic, compassionate, open to other perspectives. If we do that, we can begin to mitigate some of our fear and anger that is in the driver’s seat.

Both things can be true. The Middle Way.