Present Tense

A higher vibration…

I’m angry.  I’m frustrated.  I’m not a lot of fun to be around right now.

It feels like the world as we know it, is on the brink of some huge shift that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Actually, I can put my finger on it.  In fact, I think that I can predict what is happening, but to actually verbalize that ‘feeling’ or vision, is almost too hard.

Talking about it makes me feel vulnerable.  When I talk about what I feel is happening, people tend to get a little nervous about my sanity.

And so, here we are. In a place where pretty much everyone feels some sort of similar, visceral knowing in their gut, that we’re on a precipice of….something.

Some are cheering, thinking that the obvious upheaval and collective discomfort in our nation is exactly what they had hoped for.

Some are convinced it’s the end of life as we know it; that the crumbling and destruction of institutional norms is irreversible and completely devastating.

Some are aching to move forward.  Some ache to move backward.  Expansion versus contraction.  Open-hearted, versus closed off.

So, yeah.  This is most certainly a ‘scary’ time for all of us.  Mostly because we are so outcome-oriented in our country and our culture.  You either win or lose. And we all know that losing is the worst possible outcome.

There is the seat of our fear.  We might be the ‘losers’.  In the richest nation on earth, the second most primal fear that we have (the first being death, of course) is to lose.  An argument, an election, a fight, a war.  Or maybe we just won’t get enough ‘likes’ or followers.

So, when winning becomes the ultimate prize, what happens to us?  Cooperation suffers.  Compassion and empathy are no longer useful or prized.  We cordon ourselves off from those who will not help us ‘win’ and we label them losers.

The quest to always win makes us selfish.  We only care about events and policies that help us. Period.

An example is measuring the health and well being of a nation based solely on the rise of the stock market.  Or paying huge sums of money to give your child an unfair advantage over less privileged young people.

If it helps me, then I’m all in.  Does it help other people? Nah, I don’t care because it might cost me in some way. Every man or family for him/herself.  I gotta look out for number one.

“A rising tide lifts all boats” is such a 19 or 20th century way of looking at things.  It’s all about having the biggest, hugest, most beautiful boat of my own.

So, yeah.  You can hear it, right?  My anger?  My frustration?  Or maybe yours is drowning me out.  I get it.  Very difficult to get our bearings in this environment.

I’m trying to regain my spiritual practice, but it’s really, really hard right now.  The energies just don’t support it for me.  If you can still meditate or pray or levitate or whatever works, I salute you.

In a time when we need compassion and clarity to rule us, it seems nearly impossible.  I’ve damaged relationships, snapped at loved ones, lost my composure and burned some bridges over the past year or so.

I guess this is what transformation feels like.  What evolution entails.  I firmly believe that we are in a birth canal and when we emerge, nothing will ever be the same.

The trick is to just allow it, understanding that life and humanity and nature and the entire universe have birthed new eras a thousand times before.

That’s life.  Birth, death, rebirth.  Birth, death, rebirth a million times over and somewhere in this infinite process, our consciousness expands and ascends just a tiny bit higher.  We vibrate at a slightly different frequency.

Maybe that’s what I’m feeling.

May 25, 2019 Posted by | Musings | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Cocooning to cope…

 

It’s a turn off the news, ask Alexa to shuffle Norah Jones morning.

Very cold this here; one of those hard to catch your breath, the dogs are walking on 3 legs, super clear at 8500 feet, mornings.

The condo feels like a little cocoon with Christmas lights, warm slippers, fireplace, counting small blessings (like clean sheets) happening.

The world is so absolutely chaotic right now. I was talking to a friend yesterday about various current events and happenings, when we both came to the same conclusion: “We’re screwed!”. HAHA!

But, I/we need to put ourselves into our cocoon now and then; to inhabit the eye of the storm where there is peace, calmness and often, clarity.

Yesterday I was standing in the valley where I currently live and gazing at the huge, beautiful, ancient mountains that surround us like a giant hug.

This, too, shall pass my loves. The timeline of humanity is sooooo long and so varied and yes, ALWAYS chaotic.

We look at various other eras in history and are lulled into the idea that it was a calmer, simpler time. That everything was as it should be and that everything ‘made sense’. It never has. Ever.

There has always been suffering and violence and hunger and oppression and all of the bad, icky things that we think are at an all-time high right now.

The difference is that we are in an era where we MUST ‘see’ them. We are awakening at a fairly rapid rate, thanks in part to technology, which is both a boon and a curse.

So, as always, my loves, it is two steps forward, one step back in our evolution. As we approach the Solstice a week from today, we are called to rest; to go inward.

To retreat to our cocoons, to gather strength as the light begins to return, oh so slowly as it ALWAYS does. Respect the cycles or more accurately, the spiral that is life as we move higher and higher in our awakening.

It’s a hard job, this whole being human deal.

December 14, 2018 Posted by | Musings | , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

On ‘privilege’…

The concept of privilege is really beginning to sink in with me. I finally get it.

I do not reject ‘Political Correctness’.  It began as an attempt to bestow dignity on EVERYONE and has devolved into an insult; a way to belittle others for being ‘too soft’.

The insulting or offensive language that has been thrown around in reference to minorities and various groups and races and nationalities throughout our history were/are meant to dehumanize.

Using insulting names and labels for gays, Hispanics, African Americans, Jews, women, Muslims, etc. should not be tolerated. Period. Is there any doubt about that?

Proudly proclaiming “Yeah…I’m not politically correct!” means that you reject treating everyone with dignity. That you don’t care if you offend or incite.

Are there times when the PC Police get a little out of hand? Yes, absolutely. People can use language or say things that are ignorant or questionable, but may not contain ill intent.

It can be hard to draw the line between ignorant/offensive/hateful language.

But, there are groups of people in this country, who literally do not feel safe and/or feel under attack and suspicion thanks to the past and current climate in our nation.

To not listen to their fears and experiences is no longer acceptable. What they are experiencing is real and has been for literally generations.

For example, as women, we are finally speaking about our experiences of abuse and harassment and worse.  We MUST bring all of these realities into our consciousness, in order to begin to change and evolve.

This is real. The abuse, harassment and violence toward minorities and groups is real.

Now, we know. Now we see it. Now, we can begin to evolve and help and check ourselves to begin to err toward dignity and love.  If you are a religious person, this is what your scripture teaches, regardless of the religion.  How do so many seem to ignore that?

We need to demand it from our leaders. This is why we are alive in this time of chaos and change. This is our destiny. Will we rise?

October 29, 2018 Posted by | Musings | 5 Comments

On Forgiving….

Here’s the thing about forgiveness and compassion.

The more I read about the kid who murdered 17 people in Florida last week, the more it breaks my heart.

The whole situation is so incredibly devastating, but to read about a kid…yes a kid…a human…not a ‘monster’ or a ‘madman’, but a kid who had obviously had a difficult life and long standing mental/anger/anti-social problems doesn’t make me angry.

It makes me sad. For him, for his family; obviously for his victims and the entire community who will never fully recover.

He was not getting the help that he needed, his mother died and left him and his younger brother with no guidance, no place to go.

He was broken.

Now, here is the hard part: Forgiveness and compassion.

Remember when Dylan Roof, murdered all of those people in the church in South Carolina? And several of the family members told him, within days of this horrible crime, that they forgave him; some even offered love, based on their religious beliefs.

I was amazed by that reaction. Amazed. Heartened. Inspired.

BUT, just because we forgive or have compassion or love for someone who has done something HORRIBLE, does NOT mean that they avoid the consequences.

My husband and I have this conversation a lot; the whole concept of compassion and grace, usually when I’m complaining about something horrible that a politician did:). He will say “But, we have to forgive their bad behavior because we’re all flawed”. Forgive, but hold accountable.

I actually found myself having to ‘walk the walk’ almost two years ago when a FedEx driver hit and killed my dog Ember in our driveway. He was driving too fast, he knew our dogs and we were devastated.

I looked him in the eye a week later and told him that I forgave him and was sorry for the pain that he was in. I know that both of our hearts were broken. It doesn’t go away, but it lifted just a tiny bit of the burden we were both struggling with.

Just because we feel badly or our heart is broken over the challenges or illness that drove this kid in Florida to murder 17 people, does NOT mean that we as a society, don’t require consequences for his actions.

We can do both. It’s sort of along the lines of ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’, which I’ve always thought was such a stupid premise. But, I’m starting to get it; that concept is sinking in.

So, here is the bottom line concept: We CAN judge and we can forgive. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

And in fact, in order for us to function, we need to tie those two together.

This is basically what all religions and spiritual ideals teach us. Love our neighbors/our fellow humans/; even those who are flawed and broken. BUT, do not let them off the hook for their actions.

This is hard….living and practicing grace is probably one of the most difficult things we will ever do….

February 26, 2018 Posted by | Musings | , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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