Hey 2013! You kinda sucked…..

Dear 2013:

I’m glad you’re nearly done.

I wrote a glowing review of 2012, 364 days ago. I was sitting in my kitchen in Colorado, reflecting on a year that brought a sea-change to my life.  That sea-change was internal; I put my life and my beliefs into a salad spinner and formed a new way of seeing things.  I called 2012 “my year of living honestly”.

You were supposed to be my year of “walkin’ the walk”.  The year that I took what I learned about myself in the previous year and instituted the new life.  It went from being internal and spiritual to physical, geographical and real.

You’ve been a bitch, 2013.  And I take partial responsibility.  The strategies that got me to the tipping point of changing my life went out the window once the changes really started physically and emotionally happening.  Meditation fell by the wayside, exercise was put on the back burner, I allowed my control freak tendencies to creep back in and settle into a spare bedroom in my brain.

One step forward, two steps back…or is that two steps forward, one step back.  Maybe I’ll have a clearer picture of that concept as 2014 unfolds.

I’m an optimist.  Really.  I think that things will work out just fine in the end.  I’m also a pragmatist and a planner.  Once I commit to something, I’m pretty much all-in and often that means that I can power through problems and snags and barricades like a tank.  But, that takes a toll.

The last 6 months contained a fair number of hurdles.  Selling a house, moving 1500 miles, realizing that a 10 acre farm requires a lot of maintenance, constant nickel and dime problems with the new house, working remotely and feeling cut off from friends and co-workers, the sudden illness and death of one of our dogs, being the new folks in a small, rural community and finally, living close enough to my parents to witness their age-related decline.

These were not in my plan and it felt like being caught in an avalanche or a monster wave.  I told my husband after the death of our dog, which felt like the final straw, that I had lost my mojo.

That little internal spark that I’d always had that kept me going through challenges; the core belief that everything works out.  That my internal, anti-skid control will right my course very soon.  All of that was gone and I ended up in a deep ditch, spinning my wheels.

It seems that you were my year of cold, hard reality.  Of loss and grief.  But, that’s my glass-half-empty view and I’m a glass-half-full kind of gal.  Right now, I’d look at the glass and say “there’s enough liquid in there to wash down an Advil”.  I’ll take what I can get.

So, 2013, you gave me a beat down, but we all know that growth comes after destruction.  I’m feeling a few little stirrings of my mojo returning.  It’s walking up the driveway, through the snow and will eventually ring the bell and want to come in.

I can speed that mojo up by getting back into my meditation practice, cleaning up my diet, and firing up a more regular exercise routine.  I can embrace the changes that I put in motion, including those that were not included in my master plan.

So, goodbye 2013; I’m grateful for your lessons and your time, but you’ll stick in my craw for a long time.

Now get out.

Jane

A new day….everyday

I was informed by my sister that my last post was a little too maudlin and that I needed to perk up and be a tad less morose.  We lovingly refer to her as ‘the general’ and so when she speaks, I listen.  She’s a middle child, as is my husband and they are known for looking out for everyone else in the family.  As a youngest child, I am somewhat self-absorbed, although I do have that youngest child charisma and “march to a different drummer’ thing going for me.

So, how do you drag yourself out of the doldrums or bad habits or a case of the blues? Do you have strategies?  One of the first things that I do is get myself right, physically.  A routine is key for me, particularly since I’ve spent most of the last 3 decades getting up in the middle of the night to do a morning radio show.  It requires a fair amount of discipline just to get out of bed and then a regimented plan for the rest of the day in order to ensure that I’m functional.

My approach is quite basic and the foundation is diet.  If you haven’t read Michael Pollan’s bestseller, “In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto”, get a copy and read it….today. It’ll change the way you look at food and your diet and what you think is ‘conventional wisdom’.  Our diets and eating habits are crap in this country and I’m convinced it’s the biggest health issue of our time.  The government and the food and farming industries have colluded to addict us to lousy, unhealthy food. Obesity and obesity-related disease is an epidemic, as are emotional afflictions.  The foundation of good physical and emotional health is what you eat.  Period.

I’ve also been following Mark Sisson’s “The Primal Blueprint” and his website www.marksdailyapple.com, which is basically a less-restrictive Paleo diet.  I started eating this way to see if it would help alleviate the horrible, miserable allergy symptoms that have ruined the past 3 summers for me.  So far, allergy symptoms are minor, I’ve lost all cravings for junk food, I am slimmer and have developed much more muscle tone.

I do 25 minutes of yoga every morning and 20 minutes of meditation in the evening. I do a bit of weight training most days and I walk a few miles everyday. Sharing a house with two rowdy Jack Russell Terriers ensures that we never miss a walk.

My point is this:  we all go through phases where things just aren’t clicking in our lives.  Many times, it’s based on our unproductive or unhealthy reactions to things that are out of our control.  It can be health issues or family issues or work issues or money issues or political issues or blah, blah, blah. We can always find something to hang our depression and disappointment on.  Particularly, if you are like me and have a tendency to focus on those gnarly things in your life, rather than the good stuff.

Look, for some of us, being happy or content or grateful is hard.  It takes work and discipline and commitment.  We allow daily stresses to run our lives, which is unhealthy and it compounds the problem.  I know it’s so much easier to come home, pour a few glasses of wine and veg on the couch to a lousy TV show.  I get it.  But, tell me how you feel after that?  Invigorated?  Inspired? Content?  Strong?  Doubtful.  You drag yourself off to bed and do it again the next day.

I’m far from perfect.  Any of you who’ve read just a few of my posts know that.  But, if I didn’t make these commitments to my physical well-being I’m convinced that my emotional health would be in shambles.  We get a new shot at our lives every single day; it’s a string of new starts and new opportunities to alter our behavior and our mindset.  Yeah, it’s hard to change old habits.  It’s hard to change your diet.  It’s hard to turn off the TV or the computer and move after a long day.  I get it.  But, you have to.  Simple as that.

One more thing:  you have to feed your soul.  What stirs you emotionally?  Art, music, dance, nature, great books, playing, learning, cooking healthy meals, volunteering, writing.  Find some time everyday for these things.  Again, it’s simple:  diet, exercise, feed your soul.  Start now.

Life can be hard…or not

How do you self-medicate?  Statistically, most of us do in some form or another.  I just read that over 17% of adults routinely binge drink; I also read stats that indicate that 1 in 4 of us are on some sort of anti-depressant.

So, really, is life all that bad?  Or could it be that you aren’t doing what you need to for your own health and well-being, minus drugs and alcohol?  To stay physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually healthy takes effort, but when you have liquor stores and bars on every corner, that’s just easier.  Or when you go to your doc and tell them that you’re ‘unhappy’ or ‘restless’ or ‘moody’ and they give you a prescription, it’s just easier.

We want things to be easy because we’re told our lives are difficult in these modern times.  After all, we have debts and conflicts and blended families and single parents and cultural decline and obesity and ADHD and ADD and bratty kids and horrible bosses and low paying jobs and pollution and wars and pain and suffering and the Kardashians. And that’s just what I saw on the “Today Show”. Yup, it sure sucks to be walking about on the earth in 2012.

So, why NOT drink too much/eat too much/sit around too much/pop a pill too much?  How else can you cope?

Well, you can STOP drinking too much/eating too much/sitting too much and obsessing too much.  Sounds kinda preachy coming from someone who self-medicated with alcohol for much of her adult life, eh?  Well, as they say ‘it takes one to know one’.  I’ve outlined my drinking history enough on this blog, but in a nutshell, I started making the world go away with booze as a teenager.  I continued with this strategy throughout my 20s, part of my 30s and most of my 40s. I’ve quit drinking 3 times, now.

Having been sober for a few years, with new coping strategies in place, I feel like I’ve quit for good, but since I’m an alcoholic, I have to be vigilant to stay off the booze and to not fall into some equally destructive habits.

For instance, menopause and it’s first cousin, peri-menopause have thrown quite a monkey wrench into my physical, emotional and mental well-being.  The symptoms march into your life singly or in herds; they wax and wane and there are times when you just want to escape with our favorite friends: food, booze or pharmaceuticals.

A few hours of relief results in a doubling down of those symptoms, meaning you crave more self-meds and that’s destructive.  Identify your triggers and take a long, hard look at how you’re dealing with them.  For instance, I’ve been working on identifying the things that trigger me to shove carby food into my piehole; bread, chocolate chips, pita chips, coooooookies.  I ended up eliminating them from my diet, thanks to a book I recently read, outlining why those things are so addictive and ultimately unhealthy.  I feel great and have begun eating much more mindfully.

About six months ago, I began using bio-identical hormones for my menopausal symptoms and it’s made a tremendous difference for me physically,  sexually and for my overall quality of life.  My husband and I just read a great book by Dr. Andrew Weil, called “Spontaneous Happiness” that has opened up a whole new holistic medicine cabinet for coping with the physical and emotional aspects of aging.

Be proactive.  Don’t just live for the next bottle of wine to ‘take you away’ or pop those meds that your doctor lazily gave you for “anxiety” or shove another 4 brownies in your mouth and call it good.

Here are some books that I found invaluable in my quest for physical/mental/emotional/spiritual health.  I’m always searching for a better way, so I welcome your suggestions as well.
Cheers!

Dr. Christiane Northrup:      “The Wisdom of Menopause”   Dr. Northrup’s book is an invaluable resource, as are all her books on women’s health
Dr. Andrew Weil:      “Spontaneous Happiness”   Dr Weil is the father of “integrative medicine” and I love all of his books on holistic health
Mark Sisson:       “The Primal Blueprint”   A less restrictive “paleo” diet/eating style that is well-researched and might change the way you eat and feel.

HRC Medical :  This is where I go for my bio-identical hormone therapy.  The website has a lot of information, but many practitioners also offer them around the country.