Navigating the heavy fog

We are all in a fog; the fog of fear, of war, of crisis, of insecurity…it’s VERY thick.

What is the best thing to do in the fog?

I used to drive down I-70 at o’dark-thirty every morning to work in Denver as a morning radio host. There were days when the fog (or a whiteout) was so thick that I couldn’t see 5 feet in front of my car. It was, to put it mildly, terrifying.

So, I often had to come to a complete stop, on I-70…not even sure what LANE I was in, praying that a semi didn’t scream right up my ass.

But, in those moments of complete fear and discombobulation, I HAD TO STOP. I had to gather myself, try to ease over to the right lane and maybe the shoulder. I had to take a moment or 10 to get my bearings as to where I was, spatially, emotionally, physically.  All of it.

Running or driving hysterically and blindly through the fog is not productive. And in fact, it’s dangerous.

That’s where we are right now. Nothing is certain; we have no idea when and if schools will open, when sports will be played, when the economy will creep back, how secure our jobs or benefits are, when the virus will wane, who will win the election, etc. The list of uncertainties is VERY long, right now.

So, stop flailing. Let go of expectations and narratives and outcomes. We are in a fog, my loves. It requires stopping, slowing and assessing how to move or NOT to move.

Don’t get bogged down in your concrete beliefs and narratives. Open up to different perspectives and information, as oftentimes I find that it can calm my fears to look at a problem or situation from another angle.

The feeling of not knowing who or what to trust, is not only understandable, it’s possibly a key to our survival. The honest truth is that EVERYONE is in this fog, as it’s part of the collective energies right now.

Those who proclaim themselves as experts or authorities are just as confused as we are:). Always keep that in mind. Believing anyone unequivocally is a recipe for at best, disappointment, at worst, tyranny.

It’s okay…no, IMPERATIVE that we ask ourselves, “Why exactly do I believe this and not that?? Maybe both things are true.”

Stop, squat and look at all sides. Question everything….

 

2020 Reimagined

One of those mornings.  Feeling a bit trapped, stilted and restrained.

So, I have to be honest with myself and understand that nobody is restraining me, specifically; it’s my own perceptions.

I’m seeing a lot of complaining and gallows humor about how ‘awful’ 2020 is. How punishing and whacky and off kilter this year has been.

The perception of this ‘year’ (I prefer era or transition because we’re only in the first few innings of this) that I’m trying to foster, internally and personally is this:

What if we we look back in 5, 10, 20 years and realize that 2020 was the year we awakened to some things that we’d been asleep to.

What if this year, that we are all slogging through together, is the year that we FINALLY become conscious of so many things that had been undercurrents of our lives and society for a very long time.

It’s totally plausible that the reason for our fear, anger, outrage, confusion, etc is because we are being forced to see and feel things that we’ve kept buried.

We have 240 years of history, some that isn’t all that glorious, that we’ve been afraid to look at, speak of and accept due to denial, shame, group think and our own inherent need to go along with the conventional wisdom.

Or because we are members of one of the various groups that have not really been allowed a voice or full participation.

OR because we are members of the more elevated and privileged groups who don’t have to worry about the struggles, disenfranchisement or oppression of others.

My writing over the past 3-5 years has pointed to this moment. I warned that all of our institutions were on shaky ground and many are literally crumbling.

Financial, economic, educational, military, health care, GOVERNMENT, political, agriculture, media and on and on. All are failing us.

So, they must fail or evolve, so that we can SEE and then begin to reform and re-work them for a new era. One that is more equitable for everyone, rather than the protected classes.

That is what 2020 is ushering in. And yeah…watching everything that we THOUGHT was true, proven wrong, corrupt, murderous, wasteful, damaging, lethal and horribly manipulated by wealthy, powerful interests is shocking.

So, instead of complaining or deriding 2020 as some crazy anomaly that we will recover from and go back to ‘normal’, begin to shift your perspective into what is REALLY happening. Question your beliefs, behaviors, opinions, actions.

Normal is highly overrated and highly dangerous and corrosive to our well being and our nation.

Grow up says The Divine/Cosmos/God, ’cause we won’t let up until you do.

Hello 2021: Phase 2

We HAVE to love

I was just reading an article about dog behavior.  Most things in the world come down to animals for me, particularly dogs, but this concept struck me as a perfect example of some insight into the question that has become our national mantra: “What is wrong with people”?

Seems that puppies have these two times during their development, when a fear response can become ingrained and turn into major behavioral problems for their entire lives.  One is between 8-10 weeks and there is another 2-3 week period between 6-14 months of age.

They cited an example where a perfectly normal and well-adjusted German Shepherd pup suddenly became extremely aggressive toward other dogs.  He was fine with people, but his owner was literally afraid that he would kill another dog.

The genesis of this very serious problem was one traumatic incident: the dog and his dog buddy were wrestling around in the front yard, as they had done for months, when they got too close to the invisible fence.  The German Shepherd was shocked and immediately went after the other dog, resulting in an all-out dog fight.

From that moment, he became increasingly aggressive toward other dogs and would never play with that familiar dog again.  ONE incident of traumatic pain and fear, altered that dog’s life forever.

Let’s turn to humans.  How many incidents in our past have shaped our relationship to life?  Things that we can barely remember or that we can’t remember?  The figurative electric shock of various traumas that have been layered one on top of another since we were born.

Even though life in the United States is relatively safe, compared to many parts of the world, there is a lot of trauma going on.  Trauma for many that begins the moment they were born into a family with a history of violence or abuse.  Trauma in their neighborhood, where crime and violence were common place.  Trauma from being different and/or not fitting in.

It may not have been anything physical like an electric shock.  Maybe it was listening to the adults in our lives express fear or suspicion or flat out bigotry and hatred toward someone or some group?  Maybe it was something learned in church or from media.

Maybe it was the devastating loss of a loved one or pet or friend?   My God, the list is endless, isn’t it?

All of these incidents add up over time and in some of us, morph into destructive behaviors.  Just like the dog.  We are really no different in our conditioning, particularly when we are young and don’t have the skills to cope or analyze.

So, as we discuss the various tensions within our nation and the world, remember that humans are not machines.  We are all shaped by our environment and surroundings.

Those of us who are pet owners, know that puppies need a lot of love, attention and socialization.  Training them with abusive or fear based methods can result in aggression and that makes them dangerous.

Humans are delicate.  We are easily bruised and scarred.  We also need gentle handling, not only as babies and children, but for our entire adult lives.  Be aware of that and be aware that many of your fellow travelers carry around not only their trauma, but the trauma of their ancestors, because that stuff is passed down.

It’s so easy to see.  Look at the Middle East.  Look at the problems in our inner cities.  Look at the problems on Native American reservations. Ancestral trauma.

We all carry it around with us like a heavy, ever-present backpack. In order to begin to see others in a loving way, we must heal ourselves.  We have to release our past traumas and pain in order to open up to healing the pain of others.  Don’t discount another’s trauma. It is real.  It animates them; often in ways that are destructive to them and to our society.

Listen to these people’s fears and experiences.  Really HEAR them, without your political or religious or socio-economic filters.  It’s not just their trauma, it is all of ours and until we acknowledge and embrace that, the killing and conflict will continue.

Empathy.  Walk a moon in their moccasins, measure your words and reactions. Be kind.  We are all in pain.

Into the Fire

Last week, as I was fixing my morning coffee I looked out the window and saw my husband burning some brush in our fire pit. I had a pile of paperwork that I was planning to shred and decided to just toss them in the fire.

Once I got outside, I discovered that I had also grabbed a small notepad and as I tossed the papers into the fire I felt a tug of inspiration that urged me to make a list of things that I wanted to dispose of. Ya gotta burn it down, to allow it to rise up.

I finished my initial task and ran back into the house for a pen and a coffee refill. I grabbed one of our big, old heavy Adirondack chairs and hunkered down in front of the fire to spill it all out. These were things that I wanted to root out, look at in the light of day and then burn to ashes.

At the top of the page, I simply wrote “let go”. Here is my list:

Ego
Grief
Fear
Resentment
Rejection
Failure
Humiliation
Not fitting in
Control
Hatred
Frustration
Limitations
Conventional wisdom
Second guessing
Crusty, old beliefs
Overreaction
Panic
Cultural knots and entanglements
Behaving as you “should”
Material lust
Status seeking

This was stream of consciousness. Things that I felt were holding me back in some way. I didn’t over-think or take more than 10 minutes to compile the list. I then stood before the fire, read it aloud, asked for guidance from spirit and tossed it in to the fire.

Done. BAM! Burned.

I looked up and saw a big, beautiful hawk soaring overhead. I watched him for a few minutes and as he circled closer and closer, I thanked him for acknowledging my ceremony.

Ceremony and ritual are important parts of the human experience and in modern times, we often forget. There is no time or inclination any longer. Fewer and fewer of us attend church or any kind of spiritual gathering and we suffer for it.

There is something inside us, that has been there from the very beginning that craves connection with the Divine and we ignore it at our peril. I believe that is why we have such a callous attitude toward others and toward the Earth. We’ve lost touch with this spark, but we can make the time, even if it’s just us, all alone, to reignite it.

As I walked back to the house after my ‘cleansing’, I felt lighter, freer, empowered, calm, loved.  I’d taken just a little time and made a connection with not only my soul, but with what animates it. Spirit and energy and God and creator are all around us, at all times. Tap in. When you feel an urge, as I did, follow it. Be with yourself, create some minor rituals and try to develop a daily practice, even if it’s 5 minutes, to connect with the thing that is greater than you.

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