Yin vs Yang

I’m conflicted.  Who isn’t, right?  There is a rumble going on between my inner hippie and my inner advocate.  At this point, the IH is winning.  The problem is, the IH wants to pick up and move to Traverse City, Michigan and live on a lake or a few acres that we can farm.  At the moment, that is somewhat impractical.

My inner advocate can live anywhere and in fact, with the internet at my fingertips, can assert herself constantly (as she is doing right now, writing this blog).  She worries and frets about current events, politics, the human condition, religious hypocrites, gay marriage, intrusive government and animal welfare.  She rants, writes, yaps on the radio and has been the dominant feature of my persona for years.  But, I can feel her shrinking, bit by bit, day by day.

It’s funny, but many women my age are just getting to know their inner advocate and allowing her to have a voice.  They’re speaking up, getting informed and involved and starting to finally ‘call bullshit’ on what they don’t like.  My personality and media career have always allowed and encouraged me to be outspoken and opinionated; in fact it’s been a requirement for many years.  Maybe it’s time for my IA to retire or at least, ratchet back to part-time status.

My inner hippie is my more holistic, spiritual side that has been somewhat dormant for most of my life, other than an occasional flutter here and there.  Now that she’s starting to flower, it’s invigorating and I feel like she needs room to grow. I suppose that the hippie and advocate can live side by side in harmony, but balance is something that I’ve never quite mastered.  I’m kind of an all or nothing gal; which has served me well professionally and in my quest for learning and knowledge, but it is probably also responsible for some of my failures.  The old saw,  “everything in moderation” isn’t even in my lexicon.

One way to handle this is to allow the inner advocate to advocate for a kinder, gentler, healthier lifestyle. I’ve noticed that more and more of my posts and opinions are moving in that direction.  My political views are moderating, softening a bit .  I no longer see things in black and white, Republican vs. Democrat terms.  My tribe vs. the other tribe.  The key is for all of us to quit relying on politicians to solve our problems, particularly since it’s obvious that they can’t and they won’t.  It’s time for a truce and to realize that each and every one of us is responsible for our own happiness and success, however you define that.

My inner hippie is kinder and more forgiving than my inner advocate; she is more willing to see the other side of an argument, more open to other viewpoints.  She believes that much of modern life, while convenient, isn’t always better or healthier or more fulfilling.  If I allow her to blossom and grow, then I think that she’ll have a positive effect on my inner advocate.  Perhaps they will meld into a more productive and evolved ‘me’.

So, the battle rages for now.  I’m back to daily meditation and gentler work-outs.  I’m eating whole, organic foods, listening to my body, getting enough sleep. The inner hippie and inner advocate will eventually work things out and move forward in harmony.  Mind follows body or body follows mind?  To be continued……