2020 Reimagined

One of those mornings.  Feeling a bit trapped, stilted and restrained.

So, I have to be honest with myself and understand that nobody is restraining me, specifically; it’s my own perceptions.

I’m seeing a lot of complaining and gallows humor about how ‘awful’ 2020 is. How punishing and whacky and off kilter this year has been.

The perception of this ‘year’ (I prefer era or transition because we’re only in the first few innings of this) that I’m trying to foster, internally and personally is this:

What if we we look back in 5, 10, 20 years and realize that 2020 was the year we awakened to some things that we’d been asleep to.

What if this year, that we are all slogging through together, is the year that we FINALLY become conscious of so many things that had been undercurrents of our lives and society for a very long time.

It’s totally plausible that the reason for our fear, anger, outrage, confusion, etc is because we are being forced to see and feel things that we’ve kept buried.

We have 240 years of history, some that isn’t all that glorious, that we’ve been afraid to look at, speak of and accept due to denial, shame, group think and our own inherent need to go along with the conventional wisdom.

Or because we are members of one of the various groups that have not really been allowed a voice or full participation.

OR because we are members of the more elevated and privileged groups who don’t have to worry about the struggles, disenfranchisement or oppression of others.

My writing over the past 3-5 years has pointed to this moment. I warned that all of our institutions were on shaky ground and many are literally crumbling.

Financial, economic, educational, military, health care, GOVERNMENT, political, agriculture, media and on and on. All are failing us.

So, they must fail or evolve, so that we can SEE and then begin to reform and re-work them for a new era. One that is more equitable for everyone, rather than the protected classes.

That is what 2020 is ushering in. And yeah…watching everything that we THOUGHT was true, proven wrong, corrupt, murderous, wasteful, damaging, lethal and horribly manipulated by wealthy, powerful interests is shocking.

So, instead of complaining or deriding 2020 as some crazy anomaly that we will recover from and go back to ‘normal’, begin to shift your perspective into what is REALLY happening. Question your beliefs, behaviors, opinions, actions.

Normal is highly overrated and highly dangerous and corrosive to our well being and our nation.

Grow up says The Divine/Cosmos/God, ’cause we won’t let up until you do.

Hello 2021: Phase 2

A higher vibration…

I’m angry.  I’m frustrated.  I’m not a lot of fun to be around right now.

It feels like the world as we know it, is on the brink of some huge shift that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Actually, I can put my finger on it.  In fact, I think that I can predict what is happening, but to actually verbalize that ‘feeling’ or vision, is almost too hard.

Talking about it makes me feel vulnerable.  When I talk about what I feel is happening, people tend to get a little nervous about my sanity.

And so, here we are. In a place where pretty much everyone feels some sort of similar, visceral knowing in their gut, that we’re on a precipice of….something.

Some are cheering, thinking that the obvious upheaval and collective discomfort in our nation is exactly what they had hoped for.

Some are convinced it’s the end of life as we know it; that the crumbling and destruction of institutional norms is irreversible and completely devastating.

Some are aching to move forward.  Some ache to move backward.  Expansion versus contraction.  Open-hearted, versus closed off.

So, yeah.  This is most certainly a ‘scary’ time for all of us.  Mostly because we are so outcome-oriented in our country and our culture.  You either win or lose. And we all know that losing is the worst possible outcome.

There is the seat of our fear.  We might be the ‘losers’.  In the richest nation on earth, the second most primal fear that we have (the first being death, of course) is to lose.  An argument, an election, a fight, a war.  Or maybe we just won’t get enough ‘likes’ or followers.

So, when winning becomes the ultimate prize, what happens to us?  Cooperation suffers.  Compassion and empathy are no longer useful or prized.  We cordon ourselves off from those who will not help us ‘win’ and we label them losers.

The quest to always win makes us selfish.  We only care about events and policies that help us. Period.

An example is measuring the health and well being of a nation based solely on the rise of the stock market.  Or paying huge sums of money to give your child an unfair advantage over less privileged young people.

If it helps me, then I’m all in.  Does it help other people? Nah, I don’t care because it might cost me in some way. Every man or family for him/herself.  I gotta look out for number one.

“A rising tide lifts all boats” is such a 19 or 20^th century way of looking at things.  It’s all about having the biggest, hugest, most beautiful boat of my own.

So, yeah.  You can hear it, right?  My anger?  My frustration?  Or maybe yours is drowning me out.  I get it.  Very difficult to get our bearings in this environment.

I’m trying to regain my spiritual practice, but it’s really, really hard right now.  The energies just don’t support it for me.  If you can still meditate or pray or levitate or whatever works, I salute you.

In a time when we need compassion and clarity to rule us, it seems nearly impossible.  I’ve damaged relationships, snapped at loved ones, lost my composure and burned some bridges over the past year or so.

I guess this is what transformation feels like.  What evolution entails.  I firmly believe that we are in a birth canal and when we emerge, nothing will ever be the same.

The trick is to just allow it, understanding that life and humanity and nature and the entire universe have birthed new eras a thousand times before.

That’s life.  Birth, death, rebirth.  Birth, death, rebirth a million times over and somewhere in this infinite process, our consciousness expands and ascends just a tiny bit higher.  We vibrate at a slightly different frequency.

Maybe that’s what I’m feeling.

On chaos…

My husband Dee just came into my office and shared a quote with me: “Life and chaos go hand in hand; that is life.”

This is indisputable isn’t it?  Life is chaos, but it’s all in how we perceive it.  Is it chaos or is it actually very orderly?

If we were were to look inside of our bodies, we would see a billion processes going on. Cells rushing here and there, manufacturing this and processing that. Digesting, making blood, building bones, moving oxygen molecules and that doesn’t even take into account the immensity of what is happening in our brains.

Under a microscope, it looks like complete and utter chaos. But, in reality, it’s not.  Everything has order and a job and a purpose.  It would appear to be a lot of rushing around, but it isn’t random, so it isn’t really ‘chaos’, is it?

Chaos is a human construct or definition.  It’s our perception of actions and events and yes, even thoughts, that we label as chaotic.  Watch a video of people in Grand Central Station in New York City or just look at kids changing classes in a school.  Bustling, confusing, busy, but they are all going someplace.  It is actually orderly.

So, if we change our perception of chaos or as we like to call the current events that are happening now, a shit storm, we may see that underneath all of this seeming random craziness, there is order; a purpose.

I’m reading a couple of interesting books about the historical cycles on earth.  In a nutshell, the premise is that we go through various cycles with each generation. Those of us born within the same rough time frame, say 15 years, experience and react quite differently from those who are older or younger than we are.  Their formative years, were not our formative years.  Events and energies were altered.

But like the stars in the sky, these cycles repeat roughly every 80 years and we can predict or at least be aware of the human ‘energy’ of these periods.

It’s really fascinating and I know there is an astrological component, but that’s not what I want to talk about. My point is that there are catalyst events within these cycles that change us and our world.  They have to happen.  Disruption must occur.  By the way, I prefer disruption over the term chaos because chaos has such a negative connotation and without disruption, life cannot evolve.

For instance, the American Revolution birthed a nation like the world had never seen before, predicated on self-determination, rather than birthright. Yes, I know, we aren’t perfect, but ‘chaos’ created something amazing.

The Civil War was another disruptive event.  Quite horrible at the time ( a true understatement, forgive me), but it resulted in the end of slavery.

We can look at many, many events and some of them didn’t have good outcomes. For instance 9/11 seems to have ushered in an era of suspicion, overreaction and a rise of government invasion of our privacy.  We can argue that, but it’s kind of inarguable if you’ve traveled by plane lately.  However, when we look back in 50 years, we may see the true effects. History needs time to unfold.

It was a cyclical catalyst. And they will ALWAYS happen.  In order to build and evolve, we have to have destruction.  We have to have disruption.  It is life.

We see it in nature, every single year.  In the fall, everything dies and goes dormant.  It lays there all winter and in the spring, rebirth.  Summer is luscious and abundant and lavish.  Then, autumn comes and we slowly wind down to begin the next cycle. This happens without fail.

Our reactions and perceptions are key in these events.  If we were to begin to understand and embrace these disruptions, we could save ourselves a lot of pain and anguish. I know that’s very hard to do.

This is the core purpose of a spiritual practice.  To be the eye of this constant storm of disruption that is life.  It’s always a swirling, spinning, living, dying, exploding, building, crazy, scary and beautiful process.

A spiritual practice grounds and centers us to be comfortable in the eye of this storm of life. To sit and allow this to spin around us, seeing the disruption for what it is: life and the development and evolution of our species.

Yes, it can be overwhelming and sad and shocking, but that is what is it is to be human.  And it has always been and will always be.

Imagine what would happen if let’s say, a billion of us just stepped out of the chaos and into the center of the storm.  We just take ourselves out of the swirling mess via meditation and putting our faith in a higher power or however you choose to practice.

What would happen?  The storm would lessen.  We could begin to see a little more clearly what is really happening.  We would hold space for the necessary disruptions to occur without adding to it in a negative way.  This does not mean ‘giving up’.  It means taking time to gain some clarity and focus.  A gathering of our strength.

So many people have asked me how I managed to navigate my mother’s recent death with a calmness and serenity and acceptance.  Truly, people have reached out and asked me this.

I didn’t do anything that people haven’t done for thousands and thousands of years. But, for me, a spiritual component was the most important aspect of embracing her birth into spirit.  I used ritual, ceremony, meditation and faith.

These practices are available to all of us; this is ancient wisdom from all cultures that will help us cope and thrive.  It’s not woo woo or airy fairy or superstitious.  This is part of our humanity. We need help dealing with the world and with being human. It’s hard.  And we don’t get that help from man made institutions, most of which are now crumbling before our eyes.

Our faith must be put back into each of us, as humans.  Not the government or the military or the police or the banks or the corporations or sadly, the church.

It’s time to awaken to the mysteries of your own soul.  To use these practices and rituals and strategies to cope with what seems to be chaos, but is really an evolution of humanity that seems confusing and frightening and unstable.

Yes, it is all of those things, but history is full of similar circumstances. The difference is that we have modern technology to shove it in our faces and into our minds and bodies, 24/7.

Find your practice.  Find your tribe.  Embrace the quiet and the ancient wisdom that is available to you. You have the world at your fingertips now.  Read, contemplate, join, support, ask for support, get quiet and remove yourself from the storm.  Step into the eye.

Embrace the chaos, for it is life.