Intentions for a new year….

Hello 2014.

A new year is always so juicy with promise.  Even though we get a new, juicy chance every day, flipping the calendar to January 1 seems to open up a big ribbon of straight, open highway to us.

So, how about setting some intentions for the coming year.  I don’t care for the term resolutions; it seems too concrete and life is too fluid to set anything in stone on the first day of a new year.  Because if you forget or just flat-out change your mind, it feels like a failure and who needs that.

I’d like to listen to my intuition a little more.  It rarely steers me wrong, but there are times when I not only ignore that little tickle of intuitive insight, I stuff it into a ziplock bag and shove it into the deep freeze.  Intuition should not be stored or frozen;  it requires immediate attention and inspection, preferably under a very bright light and a steady, open gaze.

In order to accomplish this, I need to slow down.  To arrest my tendency to jump to conclusions.  That requires breathing, instead of acting.  When a problem or challenge arises, I like to act; to DO SOMETHING.  You, too?  Okay, so let’s be honest.  More than half of the time, I wish I’d not done what I did.  Or should that be did what I did…done.  You understand what I’m getting at.

Acting rashly to try and alleviate the pain and suffering of an irritating problem usually only makes it worse and then we have to back track.  Had I just taken a few breaths, allowed my intuition to guide me and let this problem fully present itself and unfold in it’s problematic beauty, I would realize there is probably a better solution than just ‘doing something…anything.’  You know who you are.  Let’s work on this together.

I’d like to be more compassionate.  With myself.  Period.  The late night psychic beatings need to stop.  I have a very comfortable Tempurpedic and it is for sleeping, not emotional self-flaggellation over …well, pretty much everything that I may have handled badly.  Or imagined that I handled badly.  Ever notice how our imaginations kick into high gear after 1 a.m.?

So, there are two intentions.  A good start.  Let’s not over-burden our imperfect selves with too much improvement.  We have 365 days ahead of us.  Start slowly.  Finish your coffee, change out of your jammies, eat the last of the Christmas cookies and THEN set your intentions.

 Carry on.

My Year of Living Honestly

White wooden signpost with four arrows – “honesty”, “ethics”, “respect”, “integrity”.

I’m not much of a rear-view mirror gal, but I think it’s healthy at the end of the year to sit quietly and allow the last 365 days to settle around you like a nice, fluffy layer of snow or a scratchy, irritating barbed wire fence.  If we figure out the theme of the year just lived, maybe it can teach us something for 2013.

2012 was a good year for me; for us, in our little nuclear family of husband, wife and two dogs.  2012 was my year of living honestly. I haven’t had a whole lot of those since I grew up.  I’ve had years of lying to myself or deluding myself or self-medicating myself or just flat-out, not paying attention.  I’ve even had a few where I was deliriously happy.  But, completely honest?  Not so much.

This was the year that I challenged many of my long-held ‘core beliefs’ about politics.  The year I stopped drinking the Kool-Aid and started looking for the truth that underlies all of the spin and manipulation of the two political parties.  It was shocking, painful, humiliating and in the end, freeing.  The realization that you don’t have to be ‘right’; that you don’t have to fight to the death for your side.  Pure liberation.

2012 was the year that I realized that my radio persona had bled so much into my personal life that I had lost track of ‘me’.  What’s funny and entertaining  4 hours a day on a morning radio show, isn’t quite so charming the other 20 hours.  That the professional necessity of always having to have something to say about everything is fake and tedious.  That real life dictates that one listen, learn and absorb, rather than spew.

This was also the year that I admitted that family is important and that I miss mine; terribly.  I ran out the door at 19 and never looked back.  I couldn’t wait to be on my own and proximity to my family was not a priority…at all.  Now, it is.

In May, I spontaneously bought a 10 acre farm in northern Michigan, even though I live and work in Colorado.  Once I caught my breath, I had to figure out why I jumped in.  I’m financially conservative and measured when it comes to buying something as simple as a new coffee maker and yet, I bought a second home 1600 miles away from the first one, in a weekend.

That was me speaking up.  The me that has always wanted to live near the water; the me that misses family and ‘home’.  The me that has been buried under my ego and money and career aspirations for many years.  The me that is truly, me.

So, here we go.  Every day is another chance, but there is something about starting a brand new year.  It’s like when you were a kid in elementary school and your teacher gave you a nice, clean sheet of paper and a box of crayons.  You almost didn’t want to spoil that clean sheet, but alas, nothing is created if the sheet is left clean.

What will 2013 be for you?  You don’t have to decide ahead of time.  I didn’t one year ago.  In fact, just take the first step on the path and that could be as simple as vowing to open up to the newness of a new sheet of clean, unspoiled paper.  Get out your crayons……

How about a mid-year reset?

 

I wrote this last December and realized this week, that I had abandoned much of what I pledged for 2012. As we get into the “silly season” of a presidential election I thought it might be relevant reminder for a lot of us, so I’m re-posting.  Or maybe it’s just a reminder to me that I had certain goals for this year and  since we’re halfway through, I need a kick in the pants to live them.

So, my friends how about a mid-year reset?

The week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is kind of a netherworld between regret over the past year and the exciting potential to begin anew.  Time to mull over what worked and what didn’t, while you try and formulate the way forward into another year.

Maybe the past year was rough, maybe it didn’t live up to your expectations, maybe 2011 flew by and you didn’t lose the 20 pounds or get a better job or save as much money as you had hoped.  The beauty is that we all get a mulligan; a do-over in 2012.  Every year, every day for that matter, we can hit the re-set button and start again.

2011 was a better year for me than 2010; I made some personal progress in some areas that I felt that I needed to work on.  I developed some new skills and hobbies.  I let go of some stuff and I re-connected with some old friends.  As we all must plot the way forward into 2012, my goals for the coming year include developing more humility and grace.  I admire those traits so much in others and they don’t come easily to me.

You see, I have a tendency to evangelize.  I try to bend people to my way of seeing or doing things.  When I see the light, I want everyone to see that same light, to have that same epiphany that I’ve experienced.  It’s my ego, mixed with an equal part of wanting people to be happier, less frazzled, less scattered.  There are some philosophies and behaviors that I feel strongly about and I’m compelled to force them on others.  No more.

What I’ve realized is that I can only control me; I can only impose my will or my beliefs or my knowledge or my epiphanies on me.  Look, a lot of you have lived your lives this way for years.  I’m usually a little late to the party, when it comes to self-realization and self-control.  I got here through study,  introspection,  observation and finally, acceptance.  People are gonna do, what people are gonna do, regardless of how I think they should behave.

The basic message of Christmas is what crystallized this for me: “Peace on earth, goodwill toward men”.  Christians say they believe in Jesus as their personal savior;  his message fills their hearts and their lives, yet many Christians seem to ignore what I believe is Jesus’ main message: 1. We are all sinners and 2. Love thy neighbor. I don’t study the Bible (that’s a whole other post, my friends), but I’ve read it and those two statements seem to distill it all down into a very simple premise that I intend to follow, even though Jesus is not my personal savior.

My no-nonsense husband put it this way:  “God didn’t mean for it to be so complicated”.  YESSSSSS!  So, whether you are religious or a searcher, like me, it’s this:  Take care of your own business and stay out of everyone else’s.  We’re all flawed, messy humans and the only person that you can fix or control, is YOU.  That’s it.

We can guide, we can teach, we can influence and then, we must accept.  Simple.  We make life complicated and frustrating when we list all of the things that we ‘wish’ other people would do:  drive better, be more polite, go to church, don’t go to church, believe in God, don’t believe in God, vote differently, spend money, save money, raise your kids better, blah, blah, blah.  Look, we’re all ‘that person’; you know, the imperfect one.

So, in 2012, I will work on me; I vow to stop bitching about everyone else because that takes away valuable time from my true work.  I won’t worry about other people’s sexual orientation/diet/political views/spending habits/parenting skills/religion/work ethic.  To paraphrase the J-man, who so many of you follow, “it’s time to worry about the plank in our own eye, dudes”.  Simple?  Yesssssssss!

Grateful……..

My husband and I are reading a great book by Dr. Andrew Weil called “Spontaneous Happiness” and I would recommend it to any of you who struggle with the whole concept of ‘what is happy?’.

Huge numbers of us are on anti-depressants; something like 1 in 6 Americans!  Dr. Weil has been working toward a more holistic approach to traditional medicine for many years and he asserts (I agree, by the way) that we are over-medicated.

If you’re interested in his message, grab the book; it full of drug-free strategies to deal with…well, life and it’s ups and downs and disappointments.

One of the things he suggests is to list what you’re grateful for.  “Sayin’ your gratefuls” as we like to say on The Dom and Jane Show.  That’s my radio show on Mix 100, Denver, for those of you who may not know I’m a morning radio host.

So, as we head into a brand-spankin’ new year, I’m sayin’ my gratefuls and tossing ’em out to the world.  I’m grateful for:

–My husband, for reading Dr. Weil’s book along with me.  We could both use more joy

–Peanut butter and to a lesser extent, almond butter.  Fresh ground is best

–Gardening…who knew?

–My intellectual curiosity

–My job, that contains the three Fs: Fun, Fulfilling and Financially perfect

–My parents, who, at 91, are still available to me. I can’t even express my gratitude for this

–My home and the surrounding beauty of the Rocky Mountains

–My K2 Lotta Luv skis…you have NO IDEA!

–My dogs who remind me everyday that there is joy in everything and that a nap is always a good idea

–The Detroit Lions for reminding me that it’s NEVER hopeless

–My Kitchen Aid mixer; how did women make bread without one?

–My vibrantly, good health

–My pragmatic approach to life

–Cheese…all of it

–The internet; I LOVE having so much information at my fingertips.  Amazing.

–My sobriety.  Much harder than it seems, if you’ve never been there

–Ice cream.  ‘Nuff said

–Friends, particularly ones that have stuck with me over the years and miles and the old friends I’ve recently re-connected with

–Michigan.  It’s “home” and I’m glad that I can go back when I need to get back to my roots and the epic water

–My family who taught me the values and strategies that have contributed to all of the above

So, there is my list for this morning.  I’m sure I’m missing a ton of stuff, but I have a lot of football games to watch, which reminds me that I’m grateful for my HDTV.