Present Tense

You say goodbye….

I’m saying goodbyes and that sucks.  I’ve done it plenty of times over the years, but as I get older it gets a little harder.  I’m wise to the obligatory ‘we’ll stay in touch’ and ‘we’ll come visit’ lines that we all spout during goodbyes.  That rarely comes true.

We move on. We humans are amazingly adaptable and thankfully forgetful in these situations.  Most goodbyes involve short term pain and then we snuggle into our new home/job/ situation/life and leave the old life in the rear view mirror.  Merciful, really.

We all scream that we want ‘closure’, but do we really?  Closure really means that we want to tie things up in neat little bows and go forward without any pain and suffering.  Life on earth just ain’t that benevolent.  A change or transition involves bidding farewell to something.  Even if it’s something negative or unpleasant, we still feel that tug of regret when it’s time to cast off.

I’m greatly looking forward to my change in venue and yet it’s been a melancholy week or two.  I was out walking solo in the meadow behind our (soon to be sold) home a couple of days ago, gazing at the  enormous mountains that guard our valley.  I wanted to cry when I realized that my dogs would never romp here again.  That’s right, I was overcome with emotion on behalf of my dogs.  The finality of our lives here  in Colorado snuck up on me.

It’s those little moments of clarity where you realize that you’ll never be in this place, in this moment again, that sting.  Yet, every moment of every day is unique and we rarely mourn it’s passing.

We’re saying goodbye constantly; to every second of every day of our lives.  There is only now and then it’s gone.  Every minute, hour, day of our lives is quickly part of our past.  If we are living mindfully we should enjoy every minute, as that moment is rare and singular.

Such a simple concept and yet, so difficult.  Another lesson for me in letting go.  Life teaches us so much; now to learn to let it sink in.

June 18, 2013 - Posted by | Musings | , , , , , ,

31 Comments »

  1. All the very best to you, Jane.

    Comment by Leona Salazar | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Leona,
      Thanks so much.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  2. Your blog has given me incredible insight, inspiration and most importantly some gratitude for all that I have and the ones I have it with…! Change is always a hard thing but it’s nice to see you embrace it because I know and I think you know too, that you’re going home!! Many blessings and well wishes on your continuing journey…hope you will continue to share your new life and perspective!

    Comment by Becky | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Becky
      You’re very kind. I’ll keep sharing. Kind of hard to stop me:)
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  3. You sound very content with your decision! Sometimes, it’s the what if’s that hold us back from doing what your gut tells you. You’re right about the letting go part! Congrats on your move ‘home’! I saw you’ll still be on the radio with us!!! And, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and will you be continuing with that? Can’t wait to hear about your adventures in Michigan!!!!

    Comment by Debbie | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Debbie,
      Thanks so much for the note.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  4. Yeah, but occasionally when someones says “we’ll stay in touch,” it does happen!!

    Comment by Big Mike | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  5. I AM going to come visit and you can’t stop me… well, you could and then I’d have to call someone to come bail me out. 🙂 Goodbyes are hard because we have created attachments which cause pain at the separation. Desiring nothing would be so much easier… Yeah, that’ll never happen. I’m a really bad Buddhist. 🙂 The cosmic push me pull you.. you can’t grasp what’s ahead without letting go of what’s behind…. Are you sure that it was about the dogs? 🙂 Namaste, Jane. All is well.

    Comment by kandisnz | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  6. Yes It’s a very hard “Goodbye”. You have been a part of my life for 13 years and I’ve enjoyed most of it. Here’s to another 13?? Thank you Jane!!!

    Comment by Lori Jenrette Johnson | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Lori
      You know where to find me:)
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  7. You always say the things I wish I could say! Thank you for including all of us in your life. You have so much insight! I will continue to follow your journey. I’ve learned so much from you!!

    Comment by Jane Johnson | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Jane:
      I’m happy to speak for many of you! Thanks for the note and the kind words.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  8. I can’t believe you’re leaving us! You’re the one moving, but all I can think about is how it’s going to effect ME! I’ll miss your intellect and honesty. I’ve enjoyed growing with you as you went from your mean stage to your nicer, hormonally repaired self. (I’m there, too.) All the best in selling your house and moving with those cute critters of yours. You will be missed!

    Comment by Sandra Fischer | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Sandra:
      Even though I’m moving I will remain on the Dom and Jane Show. I will have a studio in my house. Nothing on the show will change:)
      Better?
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  9. I feel like I’m losing a friend, even though we’ve only met a couple times in studio, and spoke back and forth on Facebook.

    However, I’m so excited for you and your new adventure! I understand needing your patents closer. I’m trying to get my mom to move closer to me as we speak.

    Have a wonderful life, and I can’t wait to hear all about it!!

    Comment by shellybelly12 | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Shelly
      I will still be on the air, on FB and blogging. It’s really not all that different:) Thanks for the words of encouragement:)
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  10. Hope we don’t have to say goodbye to your blog and it will continue like you will be on the Dom and Jane show. It wouldn’t be the same with a different “Jane.” 😉

    Comment by Jonathan | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Jonathan:
      I have no plans to stop writing. Might even write more!
      Thanks!
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 18, 2013 | Reply

  11. Wow Jane, You are such a great writer as well as entertaining us every weekday morning. I think its great that your going back. I have lived in Colo. my whole life(55). I love my home state. The best to you and PC. and your dogs(I have 3 jacks). I look forward to hearing your stories and reading your blog about your new journey. You have been in my ear in the morning for the past 8 years. I think of you as a radio soul sister because I love your sense of humor and thoughts. Your blog today touched my heart. Thanks, cause I needed that.

    Comment by Karen Binns | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Karen
      Thanks so much. I really appreciate that you took the time to write. 3 Jacks! Best of luck:)
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  12. You have touched me in so many ways. Your honesty and open mind keep me grounded. Although I only see you in the office I feel very close to you and admire you. Please keep in touch…I still deal with all the pay checks that should be enough to bribe you to keep in touch. Lol

    Comment by Neghan | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Awwwww…You will hear from me often:) You might get sick of my emails!
      Thanks…
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  13. Jane, I wish you the best in your new life! I feel certain that you will love being close to your family and the water again! My husband and I are from Detroit and have been in Denver 30 years. We just spent a week on Grand Traverse Bay and decided that when we retire we will spend part of the year in Traverse City. It is so beautiful. I cannot wait to hear/read about your adventures in Michigan!

    Comment by Lisa | June 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Lisa
      It truly is a beautiful place. I’m looking forward to being near the water again. Thanks for the note and take care.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  14. Jane
    This is such wonderfully, courageous adventure for you, Prince Charming, Junior and Chili, with this move. Yet, the imfamous Dom and Jane show will happily continue, with the help of a little moder technology.
    I do understand wanting to be closer to your parents as they grow older. My mom passed away 3 months ago, and I’m grateful we lived together for the past several years, so that I get. Your life will change radically, but we have to they are our parents.
    Good Luck packing

    Comment by Barb | June 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Barb
      I truly live a charmed life. Thank you so much for the note. Packing is finished! (Thank goodness!)
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  15. Thanks Jane. Once again you have written what I wish I could have. Today is the last day in my house I’ve lived in for 12 years. When I moved in, I began listening to you and Dom in the mornings. It’s been a wonderful ride! I’m sitting in a room full of boxes and a house full of memories – some great, some pretty awful, but mostly great times. Thank you to you and Dom and the variety of other folks on your show that unknowingly carried me through a terrible time in my life (a death) and through the wonderful happiness I feel now. When I was feeling completely alone, your morning team kept me company and kept me giggling. Your blog has spoken to me as I seem to have parallel movement. Thank you for your insightful words! I retire in 2 months, moving to my cabin in the mountains tomorrow for the summer and back to my home state for the winter months. I will look to your wonderful writings to keep me laughing and thinking!

    Comment by Mary | June 19, 2013 | Reply

    • Mary
      That means so much to me that we helped you through a rough time. I wish you only the best as you move forward. It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?
      Take care and I’ll keep writing.
      Jane

      Comment by janelondon | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  16. Best wishes Jane. We have had some lively exchanges in here. And, the one thing we may have learned is this life is a process and there really is no destiny where the process ends. Which means things are always changing for us. I’m glad I had a small slice of time with you and your life.

    Comment by Greg (you know which one!) | June 19, 2013 | Reply

  17. It is interesting that you can love the person that you have become but at the same time see yourself as that person that you were. I am the same way and I was never all that popular in high school so I have never felt the need to reunite with the people that I went to school with.

    Based on your ideas and all the comments that followed, I think it may be worth a second consideration.

    Comment by Try New Things | July 27, 2013 | Reply


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