I’m successful…I think

I’m thinking about success.  What is it? How do we define it? How do we achieve it?

This is on the heels of the radio show that I co-host winning another Morning Show of the Year award from the Colorado Broadcasters Association.  It’s great to be recognized for excellence; it’s what we strive for and once we get there, it feels pretty good. Success.

But, I think that that we put professional success on a pretty high pedestal.  I’ve spent the better part of my adult life working toward professional and financial success, while letting the personal stuff slide.  Over past couple of years I’ve begun to ratchet back my hunger for professional growth in order to grow personally and spiritually.

I know that a lot of people have managed to tie the two together.   Okay, a FEW people have been able to do that.  The rest of us read their books and wish we could manage that kind of balance.

Personally, I think that trying to integrate professional and personal success is nearly impossible; it’s the big lie.  Something has to give.  Professional success requires that the job comes first. Period. Your allegiance is to the folks who write the check.  That’s the way it works in our country, for better or for worse.

Put your needs or your family’s needs first and you are seen as ‘not a team player’.  You’re ‘not committed’.  You’re told to ‘get your priorities straight’, meaning work is first.  Work is all.  Your family and personal life will just have to wait.

I understand these requirements. I get that businesses must make a profit and that business success relies on productive and committed employees.  However, I also know that people are not machines and that a personally happy employee is a professional asset.

Maybe I can question the American definition of success because by most measures, I’ve achieved it. I’ve had a long and ultimately successful career as a radio host because years ago, I committed myself fully to that goal.  I’ve done well financially and have managed to build a decent nest egg.

But, I still struggle personally.  I battle guilt, insecurity, loneliness.  I worry about growing old and who will help me do that with grace and dignity.  I feel like my marriage is in a dangerously stagnant period and I’m not sure how to pull us out of the quicksand.  Success?

On the other hand, everyone struggles, don’t they?  Life is full of challenges and in the greater scheme of things, I’ve done okay.  But, I feel like I’m not successful in the ways that really count.   The success of the soul.

Maybe the word “success” is wrong.  It sounds so definitive; so black and white.  Maybe other words would help define what I’m seeking.  Peace, meaning, acceptance, clarity, truth, wisdom.  They are all softer, gentler words, aren’t they?

Fill me in.  What is success to you?  Teach me.